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Pewdiepie, CinnamonToastKen, Sumo, GTA5
CinnamonToastKen and Pewds duke it out for rooftop supremacy in GTA V

CinnamonToastKen – Right Hand of the Pewds

Cardinal Richelieu had Francois Leclerc du Tremblay. George W Bush, had Dickie C. And Pewdiepie has lesser-known LPer eminence grise who goes by the moniker CinnamonToastKen.

You may know him as the mysterious voice of Luigi’s Dean in our previous coverage of Pewds erotic Mario 64 adventures. CinnamonToastKen is the chief vassal to the Pewdiepie empire.

Here, we see them working in tandem in their co-op LP, Rooftop Sumo Wrestling| GTA 5 Funny Moments Online #6

With a mere 2 million subscribers, CinnamonToastKen is relegated to broadcasting collaborative LPs with the Pewds as a renewal of his oath of fealty to the bro empire. As a stand along LPer, CTK rates as a less annoying Markiplier, a VO-specialist, capable of vocal gymnastics but less prone to pliers’ desperate bids for attention. A good old Mississippi boy, CTK rides an even keel – perhaps this is what makes him such a suitable second to Pewds.

For, as the subreddit ‘RedPill’ tells us:

Law #1

“Never Outshine The Master”

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please and impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

CinnamonToastKen takes this to heart when, after inadvertently winning a rooftop sumo match against Pewds, rather than celebrating his victory, he commits hari-kari by plummeting to earth and dying alongside his master. He is a model subordinate.

Speaking of being a competent subordinate, let’s all heed the words of George Carlin who passed seven years ago this Tuesday.

“You know what they want? Obedient workers. ­People who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork but just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs…”

About Dr Laserfalcon

Dr Laserfalcon is a preeminent scholar, comparative mythologist and video gamesman. He can be found on Twitter @drlaserfalcon tweeting snippets of shamanistic healing wisdom, transhumanistic tropes, and contrarian news coverage -- things you're unlikely to fully comprehend. Don't worry -- he won't judge you for your ignorance -- much.