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Donald Trump with a Pidgey and Pokemon hat.
Donald Trump with a Pidgey and Pokemon hat.

2016 Presidential Candidates play Pokemon

Anytime Politics mix with the internet, hilarity has a huge chance to ensue, if the correct mix of political accuracy and humor can be achieved. Case in point: the brilliant voice actor Jason Stephens pretending to be Barack Obama playing COD: Ghost is comedy gold, not only because he sounds like Obama, and the absurdity of Obama playing any type of video game, but also because he takes a moment to bring up the political issue of the day. In this video, that happens to be the lack of young people registering for Healthcare.

Taking this a step further, and with the anticipated 2016 release of Pokemon Go!, I decided to see what would happen if the main candidates were to play Pokemon and who they would have on their teams.

 

Ben Carson

Alakazam, Blissey, Audino, Porygon Z, Exeggutor, Espeon

Alakazam, Blissey, Audino, Porygon Z, Exeggutor, Espeon

Given Carson’s background as a neurosurgeon, his Pokemon are heavily composed of Psychic-types, due to their significance with the mind (especially Alakazam, given his Pokedex entry). These Pokemon are also high in Special Attack rather than other stats, making Carson’s team much more offensive than defensive. The few Pokemon that are not Psychic-types are included because they are heavily associated with healing in the Pokemon universe, or have a high Special Attack.

 

Donald Trump

Stunkfisk, Scraggy, Conkeldurr, Jynx, Skuntank, Pidgey

Stunkfisk, Scraggy, Conkeldurr, Jynx, Skuntank, Pidgey

Trump’s team is largely a farce, as no one truly takes him seriously. His team, rather than focused on stats, is focused on looks – the ugliest Pokemon were chosen to make up his team, with special focus placed on the Pokemon that sound like farts, or have odd hair styles. As for Pidgey, he will sit upon Trump’s hair, which makes a nice nest. Alternatively, Trump can be given a team full of hacked shiny Legendaries that can be defeated with a Magikarp.

 

Bernie Sanders

Blissey, Shuckle, Bastiodon, Spiritomb, Ditto, and Dusknoir

Blissey, Shuckle, Bastiodon, Spiritomb, Ditto, and Dusknoir

Sanders’s team, unlike Carson’s is built around Defense and Special Defense. Although he has no type bias, his team is mostly Normal or Ghost-type, creating a counter to Carson’s team. Sanders’s Ditto also speaks to his views on gay marriage – his open views on the matter and on relationships in general are reflected with his choice of Ditto.

 

Hilary Clinton

Vespiquen, Mismagius, Nidoqueen, Granbull, Purugly, Pyroar

Vespiquen, Mismagius, Nidoqueen, Granbull, Purugly, Pyroar

Clinton’s team, like Trump’s, is not based on any specific stat. Instead, her Pokemon lead more toward the female-only gendered Pokemon. Not all of her Pokemon would be female, however, as her views on the issues range from ‘feminist‘ to ‘ambiguous‘, and in general her team is all over the place, making her a wild card, as far as being elected goes.

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