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Nazis React To the Fine Bros Co-opting of Human Reactions

<INTERIOR:  BUNKER SLUMBER PARTY — MIDNIGHT>

 

HITLER: Hey Josie, did you hear about ze Fine Bros attempt to Blitzkrieg YouTube?

GOEBBELS: You know I don’t vatch the internets, Ado.

HITLER: Oh, Josie, get vit the times.  It’s all the hub-bub on Subreddit Kotaku in Action

 


GOEBBELS: Oh, I missed a sub-sub reddit of Kotaku, so shoot me, Ado.

HITLER: Don’t be such a drama qveen, Josie.  You can just ask me und I’ll tell you about it.

GOEBBELS:  Fine.

HITLER:  Nein!  Not fine. Here, just vatch boogie2988/Francis exshplain it.

 

GOEBBELS:  I’m confused.  How do ze Fine Bros claim to copyright reaction videos?  Didn’t reaction videos pre-date zem?  I mean, they didn’t film all ze people around ze world reacting to 2 Girls One Cup

HITLER:  No, Josie, of course zey didn’t.  In point of fact, zis is the YouTube’s top viewed video for “reaction video”

 

GOEBBELS:  OMG, I remember zose scary flash videos.  You tricked me vit one back during ze Battle of Kursk.

HITLER: I know, I’m awful.  There vas just so much down time sitting in ze tanks.

GOEBBELS: Vell, ze vindows movie editor production qvality of this last one leaves someting to be desired.

HITLER: And, dis is where de Fine Bros come in.  Dey make zis into a cottage industry.

GOEBBELS: But, Ado, surely just being gut at someting doesn’t mean you own it.

HITLER:  Vy not? I’m good at exterminating people — maybe I should copyright dat.

GOEBBELS: Look, no one qvestions that, Ado.  But it’s not like Stalin is going to pay you a royalty everytime he executes a dissident.

HITLER:  Vell, he should.  In fact, I hereby make it a policy of the Reich dat I own de killing of people.  And if anyone doesn’t like it, I invade dem.

GOEBBELS:  Oy, Ado.  Dis is going to be way more trouble den its worth.

HITLER: Summon ze lawyers!

GOEBBELS: Eh, Ado… You sent away ze lawyers.

HITLER: Because dey were Jews…?

GOEBBELS:  Yeah.

HITLER: Damnit.  I’m awful.

 

About Dr Laserfalcon

Dr Laserfalcon is a preeminent scholar, comparative mythologist and video gamesman. He can be found on Twitter @drlaserfalcon tweeting snippets of shamanistic healing wisdom, transhumanistic tropes, and contrarian news coverage — things you’re unlikely to fully comprehend. Don’t worry — he won’t judge you for your ignorance — much.